“‘Weird is normal’ is something my father says a lot.”
“I was raised by a great father — I’m still being raised, actually — and he never imposed any stereotypes. He just kind of made it seem like being a good person makes you a good man. Being respectful to everyone and treating others how you want to be treated, regardless if they’re being mean to you, because you don’t know what they’re going through. You should always treat others with respect and be open to new things and don’t be afraid of being different.
I grew up in Mid City New Orleans in a semi-middle class to lower class household and, ya know, making good with what I have. Growing up I’ve always been introduced to sports and athleticism,o that’s something I kinda take pride in. Being a middle child with two brothers, it’s weird sometimes. It had its perks; it had its downsides. I feel like you see both sides really well. You can see what’s going on with the older brothers and what it’s like being a younger brother. I enjoy it. I love all my brothers. I have wondered what it was like to have a sister but I’ve always had brothers and my mom is the only woman in the household.
I feel like what’s left out of society’s stereotypes is that a man can be whatever he wants and that it’s all about personal freedom. Any man, just as much as another, should feel free within himself to be whoever he wants.
But even though we’re free, it’s still important to be aware. You can be aware more than just physically of what’s around you by also being aware of yourself and who you are, and how you affect others. If I have done something wrong, I know what I’m doing is wrong and if I’m aware of it, I can make the needed assessments to change what’s wrong with that and become a better person. So the awareness that I’ve been taught to have has helped me become who I am today. My older brother and my dad, they’re just both really well-spoken and that’s another thing I think about when I think about what it means to be a man. Being a well-spoken person would be just to say the right things at the right times and…be aware. That’s kind of what I’m trying to get at, be aware of everything.
I disagree that men should have to be athletic or should be strong or tall. Because certain stuff you just can’t control. But I do agree that a man should be respectful. A man should be a gentleman to anybody, not just women. You should hold yourself to a higher standard. To be a good man is to have a good self-image of yourself - so a firm handshake, holding your head high, and good posture.
A gentleman is somebody that is respectful of everybody, someone that puts others in front of himself. And that in of itself is a good human being. So you don’t have to call it a gentleman, you can just call that person a “good person.” And that could be anything from holding doors for old people to helping somebody bag their groceries. It could be anything that’s just an act of kindness.
It could be detrimental to somebody’s mental health when they feel like they have to be somebody who they don’t want to be, just to be with somebody they might like or want.
Have you ever put on just a fake mask of who you project yourself to be in order to be liked by others? If that’s what you have to do just to be liked by somebody or a group of people, then those obviously aren’t the people that you should be around because you’re surrounded by people with toxic energy who wouldn’t accept you for who you really are. If you’re masking yourself, projecting to be somebody that you’re not, it can also affect the other person as much as it affects you. If they like who you’re projecting to be, when you start to show who you really are, they can feel somewhat betrayed and just confused about what’s genuine. If you just keep all of your problems stuck inside of you and you don’t voice what you feel, it’ll end up eating you from the inside out and you’ll feel like there is no way out. And that’s when you have to be self-productive and be aware of who you are and what you need to do to change to be a better person. Because if you live your life feeling like you have to live up to certain stereotypes you’ll never feel as like, you’ll never feel mentally free you’ll feel like you’re stuck in a box and stuck with all these rules keeping you away from who you really feel like you want to be.
Say you want to be an artist, but you feel like society would say, “Oh no you can’t do that, that’s weird,” or it could be seen as, from some people, homosexual, which to me doesn’t even make sense but people just take it like that nowadays. Then you may feel like you can’t do what you really want to do. For example,a kid at my old school — he was like this big 6 foot something guy — they wanted him on the football team even though he wanted to play guitar and make art. And even though he wasn’t that good, they still forced him to be on the team, and it kind of just drove him out of the school. It was sad because he was talented at what he was doing.
So don’t feel like you have to prove yourself to anybody. Be comfortable with who you want to be. Do what makes you happy. Don’t put a mask on for anybody. Be comfortable with being yourself. And just have fun. Don’t put limits on yourself. And ya know, take advantage of the opportunities you have cause you may never have them again. So that’s that. That’s my message.”