“I think masculinity should be what you think it is, not based on what others tell you.”

“If you feel you want to be strong, as a man, that’s what you should be. But make sure it’s your choice because you should be who you want to be. 

I want to live up to what a man is, but also to be my own version and not have to be like the definition of what a man is. I want to be strong and a protector as well as all things that people think a man is, but also sometimes still be able to be me and do things I want to do as a man. For example, I’m not really always aggressive and I like to be calm sometimes. I also have time when I play around and have fun. I like being around family, sometimes crying with family, and being soft at some points, and I still think that’s being a man. 

My father and my stepdad have taught me to be a man, along with coaches and teachers. They told me when things get hard, to keep going through it. I learned that when things get hard, you don’t always have to be hardened all the time. I think people do not really teach about how when things get hard, people kind of run away from it. Society tells you you can only be strong; you can’t seem weak. But I think that’s wrong. 

To be a man, I think you have to be genuine. 

You could be strong and genuine. You can be kind, nice, and strong. You can do all of these things at the same time. 

Men my age need to talk about this because a lot of people don’t really talk about it and it’s important to know growing up, but also when you get older so you know how you should be treated. It also helps you learn how you should feel when things are said to you, and how to react if you like it, if you agree, or if you disagree.

As a Black man, I also see different expectations put on us. You have to work way harder than a White man will. In my eyes, sometimes things are given to them and it’s not really like that with a Black man; you really have to work for it. It can be really hard. I think White people really don’t want us to be bosses over them, and we get treated differently because of that. 

Always stay positive, keep pushing, and don’t ever give up. 

At the end of the day, always be confident in yourself, and as times get hard, always push through. And never stop. Success is a journey, and it never ends, so always keep going higher and higher and higher.”

- Zalen