“A man should be able to show emotions because a man is a human. He’s not a robot that has no emotions.”
“When people told me how a man is supposed to be I didn’t really understand some things, and I just didn’t agree with other things at the same time. Like I didn’t understand how sometimes people say a man shouldn’t show emotion. I didn’t really understand that at all. People also say a man should like always be calm and collected, and should always be ready to show that they are a leader at all times. I disagree with that statement.
A definition of a man depends on how you grow up, what you were told that a man does, and what you believe a man should do. I grew up in New Orleans and am the youngest child with an older brother. The way I learned how a man should be is through my uncles, my older cousins, and my brother. I could watch my uncle and grandpa, who are both in the military, and learn from their actions what a man should be like. Through experiences with them, they taught me how to do things around the house, play basketball, how to cut grass, and things like that that I can still apply in my life to this day.
My friends have also taught me how to carry myself, and I feel like I can also help them learn how to carry themselves. I can see and learn from the things that I do now to prepare me to do the things I plan on doing when I’m older. You can see how you’d like to act when you grow up as a man.
You don’t necessarily have to be strong to still be a man.
I agree that a man could be depended on, one that people can look to for help and to lead others, and can be strong. But I do disagree that a man should be strong because you don’t necessarily have to be strong to still be a man. I feel like when people talk about being a man they don’t ask you what type of man you want to be or what men are around you in your life.
I think it’s important that men my age should talk about this because you see on social media and in society in general, how the word masculinity is being used a lot now compared to how it was used when I was younger. I see people try to say things like “men only act this way,” and I also see people try to defend men saying that “just cause you only encountered a certain type of man, does not mean all men in the world are like that.” And similarly, just cause you only grew up around a certain type of men in your life, it doesn’t mean that all men are like that.
But going back to society, an example of some other things I see is like, people talk about toxic masculinity, how masculinity ruins things, and how it should and shouldn’t be. I see toxic masculinity as a man who tries to use his authority and the fact that he’s a man to control people while not being open to other people’s ideas or opinions at all, and I think we can undo toxic masculinity if people start becoming more open to other people’s ideas and more open to criticism.
Don’t get frustrated when people are trying to tell you things.
If you want to do things when you get older, you should be able to listen to other people’s opinions. I know you might get aggravated when you feel like somebody is telling you something pointless, and you may try to leave the situation, but usually they’re just tryna help you out. There are some things I recently learned how to do that make me realize I wish I would’ve listened when my uncles and cousins would try to teach me stuff when I was younger but chose not to, saying it was pointless. Like if you feel like somebody’s just tryna yell at you or give you information that you think you don’t need in life, you may be wrong, maybe you really do need it. Just take the information cause it could be valuable later on in life.